Biology 1 test tomorrow...
Oct. 12th, 2003 08:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
songofjoy02In the morning, no less. And I'm not ready. So I need to study. And I have practically no time (even less than I'm taking) to be on LJ.
Oh, my anti-flirting paper...
Explanation Essay: Final Draft
Why I Avoid Flirting
As I sat waiting for one of my classes to begin recently, I overheard a rather interesting conversation. Actually, what I heard was more of a monologue, because it was a guy telling a girl, first, how he was mentally superior to her and to her friends, and then questioning the girl about when she was going to stop flirting with a particular guy. However polite (or rude) Mr. Critic was, though, I must say that his comments on flirting reminded me of many reasons why I have chosen to avoid it. Overall, I believe that flirting would put others and me at a disadvantage in many areas. My most general reasons for avoiding flirting have to do with physical safety, emotional security, and personal integrity-both in selfish and in unselfish ways.
Of course, what the critical guy was referring to in his conversation with the girl had to do with communication issues. He seemed to think that the girl’s behavior was dishonest (although I am not entirely sure that he is above dishonesty), and he wanted a straightforward answer on what her reasons were for flirting with a guy in whom she was not interested. Now, I have always desired to communicate as openly and honestly as possible and I do think that flirting falls far short of that. Many people confuse others (and sometimes even themselves) because they express intentions that they do not really intend to fulfill, and make promises that they do not mean to keep. I would rather know exactly where I stand with someone on a somewhat long-term basis. I think most other people desire the same thing, so I want to let them know where they stand with me, as well.
One of my considerations is physical safety. Even at work (where I just signed a paper indicating my understanding of a policy that involves no tolerance of sexual harassment), I am occasionally required to walk through a warehouse, where I have observed glances that have convinced me that I need to be clearly “about my business” in order to attract as little attention as possible. Flirting in this context could be risky, since I really do not know what kind of people work at the warehouse. Obviously, this kind of danger can be anywhere, but it seems to be especially prevalent in public places, one of them being at school, another location where I am particularly careful. The way that I walk or the glances that I give can have incredible ramifications, which I have realized more and more as I have observed girls at school (both in their actions and in their body language) and how guys respond to them.
I am also very determined to finish school without the distractions that romantic entanglements could entail, and I think that it is more convenient to avoid anything that could get me into a messy situation of having to figure out someone else’s or my own feelings. Perhaps I am just a selfish idealist hanging on to a goal that is neither reasonable nor realistic, but I do want to spare others the same kind of distractions. Of course, I suppose that this particular reason may disappear if I meet the “right guy.”
Another area of importance to me is setting a mature, responsible example for younger girls. I do not want to be an excuse for them to flirt with guys, or a reason for them to think that it is okay to be overly friendly with young (or even not so young) men. At this point, one of my biggest inspirations is my four-year-old sister, who is much more outgoing than I am. I know that she looks up to me, and I want her to be able to imitate me without hurting herself or anyone else.
My main concern, though, is morality. I have a very high regard for marriage (particularly between one man and one woman), and I would not want to do anything that would undermine a man’s relationship with his wife. While I certainly think that perhaps some teasing in a friendly relationship with a man may be harmless, I have also seen it lead to serious emotional attachments often enough that I desire to avoid it in order to avoid the possible consequences. I know of many affairs where the relationships began with innocent interaction, so I definitely feel that there is a need to be careful at all levels of a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.
I have yet to determine whether my not flirting is going to have the exact results that I intend, but it has worked so far, with some added benefits. As I have worked to set a good example for girls, I have also been able to develop better relationships with them, partly because guys are not distracting me from them. My parents are also happy, since they reared me to believe that marriage is sacred, and they do want me to honor it. So far, the way that guys have treated me has been much better than they (in general) treat many other girls in that they are less familiar in their interaction with me. As far as I know, I have succeeded in avoiding causing problems for myself or for other people in this area. Ultimately, I am happiest about not flirting because I believe that avoiding it is the right thing to do. I know that morality is not always a strong motivation to people, but even if their motives were completely selfish, I believe that everyone would gain from not flirting.
Boy, my paragraphs were longer than I realized! I just thought that it was the double spacing that my English teacher likes. Hmm.
Oh, my anti-flirting paper...
Explanation Essay: Final Draft
Why I Avoid Flirting
As I sat waiting for one of my classes to begin recently, I overheard a rather interesting conversation. Actually, what I heard was more of a monologue, because it was a guy telling a girl, first, how he was mentally superior to her and to her friends, and then questioning the girl about when she was going to stop flirting with a particular guy. However polite (or rude) Mr. Critic was, though, I must say that his comments on flirting reminded me of many reasons why I have chosen to avoid it. Overall, I believe that flirting would put others and me at a disadvantage in many areas. My most general reasons for avoiding flirting have to do with physical safety, emotional security, and personal integrity-both in selfish and in unselfish ways.
Of course, what the critical guy was referring to in his conversation with the girl had to do with communication issues. He seemed to think that the girl’s behavior was dishonest (although I am not entirely sure that he is above dishonesty), and he wanted a straightforward answer on what her reasons were for flirting with a guy in whom she was not interested. Now, I have always desired to communicate as openly and honestly as possible and I do think that flirting falls far short of that. Many people confuse others (and sometimes even themselves) because they express intentions that they do not really intend to fulfill, and make promises that they do not mean to keep. I would rather know exactly where I stand with someone on a somewhat long-term basis. I think most other people desire the same thing, so I want to let them know where they stand with me, as well.
One of my considerations is physical safety. Even at work (where I just signed a paper indicating my understanding of a policy that involves no tolerance of sexual harassment), I am occasionally required to walk through a warehouse, where I have observed glances that have convinced me that I need to be clearly “about my business” in order to attract as little attention as possible. Flirting in this context could be risky, since I really do not know what kind of people work at the warehouse. Obviously, this kind of danger can be anywhere, but it seems to be especially prevalent in public places, one of them being at school, another location where I am particularly careful. The way that I walk or the glances that I give can have incredible ramifications, which I have realized more and more as I have observed girls at school (both in their actions and in their body language) and how guys respond to them.
I am also very determined to finish school without the distractions that romantic entanglements could entail, and I think that it is more convenient to avoid anything that could get me into a messy situation of having to figure out someone else’s or my own feelings. Perhaps I am just a selfish idealist hanging on to a goal that is neither reasonable nor realistic, but I do want to spare others the same kind of distractions. Of course, I suppose that this particular reason may disappear if I meet the “right guy.”
Another area of importance to me is setting a mature, responsible example for younger girls. I do not want to be an excuse for them to flirt with guys, or a reason for them to think that it is okay to be overly friendly with young (or even not so young) men. At this point, one of my biggest inspirations is my four-year-old sister, who is much more outgoing than I am. I know that she looks up to me, and I want her to be able to imitate me without hurting herself or anyone else.
My main concern, though, is morality. I have a very high regard for marriage (particularly between one man and one woman), and I would not want to do anything that would undermine a man’s relationship with his wife. While I certainly think that perhaps some teasing in a friendly relationship with a man may be harmless, I have also seen it lead to serious emotional attachments often enough that I desire to avoid it in order to avoid the possible consequences. I know of many affairs where the relationships began with innocent interaction, so I definitely feel that there is a need to be careful at all levels of a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.
I have yet to determine whether my not flirting is going to have the exact results that I intend, but it has worked so far, with some added benefits. As I have worked to set a good example for girls, I have also been able to develop better relationships with them, partly because guys are not distracting me from them. My parents are also happy, since they reared me to believe that marriage is sacred, and they do want me to honor it. So far, the way that guys have treated me has been much better than they (in general) treat many other girls in that they are less familiar in their interaction with me. As far as I know, I have succeeded in avoiding causing problems for myself or for other people in this area. Ultimately, I am happiest about not flirting because I believe that avoiding it is the right thing to do. I know that morality is not always a strong motivation to people, but even if their motives were completely selfish, I believe that everyone would gain from not flirting.
Boy, my paragraphs were longer than I realized! I just thought that it was the double spacing that my English teacher likes. Hmm.
