PamelaVV

Well, with "classes." Now for finals. I just found out that I don't have to take a final in Western Civ., though, so I am a little relieved over that...although I wonder if I should do the exam anyway. It's optional and it won't improve my grade, so I'm not sure what the point would be except to be more forthright with my teacher than I have been thus far.=\ The problem is that I have other exams to study for, so I'm really tempted just to let that one go.

So I'm relieved about one final. I have one in Communication on Friday, one in English on Monday, and finals in Music and Chemistry on Wednesday. I should be writing a performance review that I have to turn in for English Monday--I guess I could try to turn it in Friday. And then I'll have an in-class essay in English for Monday's final. The teacher got us the computer lab, but I doubt I'll be able to use it because I don't have an account. I'll see what happens. Maybe someone will be kind enough to sign on for me. We shall see, I guess.

I doubt I have to worry about my final in Music, so I'm mainly concerned about Chemistry...I REALLY need to study for that. I guess I should go and do that instead of typing here. Or I could go to bed, which I should do before the cough syrup wears off. I'm tired. I did some journaling while I was at school today, but it would take a while to type up, so I'll wait on it for now.=) Goodnight! We'll see if I really go to bed now...

We must have a very slow connection right now...I don't even need to be writing in this journal, especially as it will be taking time that I need to devote to other things. It doesn't sound so very overwhelming, but it SEEMS overwhelming...and that's all that really seems to matter right now. I went to bed after three this morning and got up at six. I'm very grateful for Blue Bunny's limited edition chocolate ice cream with brownies and chocolate candy in it. If you haven't tried it, it's wonderful...and it helped me stay awake for several hours of homework last night. I am thinking that I had better sleep tonight, though, because extreme sleep deprivation can be dangerous. I don't think I've reached that point, though.

Two encouraging things happened today...and you can guess that they related to tests. Unfortunately, I'm too tired to talk about it now. But it's not so important to tell what it was as that it was. My hard work is not in vain; I'm not as much of a dunce as I thought. I have one more beginning-of-the-semester test, which is in one week. If I can get an A on that test, well...then I won't feel like a failure. Somehow, I think that school is becoming too important to me.

Hey, I have a question for you music people out there.

I'm supposed to do a presentation on Franz Liszt in my Music Appreciation class on Monday morning and the teacher wants us to be "original" in our presentations. Her examples were of a guy dressing up in an Elvis costume, a military man dressing in his uniform and delivering his speech as a briefing, and of a guy using objects to illustrate various aspects of a composer's life. I'm lost in trying to figure out how to present Liszt. I'm not about to dress up like a guy or to pretend to play like him. I LIKE playing the piano, but I'm...well...if good piano players were like children compared to Liszt, I'm out of the running altogether in a comparison...because I don't even approach mediocre--which is okay for what I do. But anyway...I need some ideas on what to do for originality. I'm reading four books about him (actually, I've read one, started two, and haven't even opened the cover of the fourth); I must have six references total, no more than two of which can be internet sources. Since I already have four out of six, I guess that I'll get the rest on-line even though I think that the sources I have really are comprehensive enough. Anyway...ideas???

The Seven Intelligence Areas

Linguistic: 6

Logical-Mathematical: 7

Spatial: 0

Bodily-Kinesthetic: 3

Musical: 10

Interpersonal: 4

Intrapersonal: 6



A Short Definition of your Highest Score

Musical - the ability to understand and develop musical technique, to respond emotionally to music and to work together to use music to meet the needs of others, to interpret musical forms and ideas, and to create imaginative and expressive performances and compositions. Possible vocations that use the musical intelligence include technician, music teacher, instrument maker, choral, band, and orchestral performer or conductor, music critic, aficionado, music collector, composer, conductor, and individual or small group performer.

*************

I didn't think I clicked very much about music. Hmm.

I didn't do so well on my chemistry test today. It would be hopeful to say that I might have gotten an A...I know I definitely didn't get 100%. But that's because I didn't understand the material that my teacher feels we should know.=\ Science is just not easy for me to understand. Of course, I do know that studying would help...I need to do that more. And I need to check the texts that we have, although I don't think the high school books we have are really going to help. I need a LOT of help with figuring out how to tell what products will come from reactants. I can balance an entire equation that is given to me, but I have no clue how to figure out what compounds come out of reactions, even if I know the reaction type. I'm still learning what the symbols stand for, and I do not know at all what anything but the most well-known elements (water, peroxide, and oxygen are the main ones I know) looks like in a chemical formula. So I was quite lost on the last part of the test. The book didn't explain how to do these kinds of problems, either, so my studying was ineffective.=\ At least I do have the comfort of knowing that I'm not the only one in the class who didn't know, though.

But instead of sitting here I should be practicing the piano to play for the junior choir at church tonight. Tomorrow, I'm going to hear Aldo Mancinelli, a Steinway artist, at a church about forty minutes from here. I am really looking forward to hearing someone who my teacher seems to think is a master at the piano. After the concert I attended Sunday, I am quite convinced that the piano is my very favorite instrument...much more favorite when someone good (in other words, someone better than me) is playing it.

It finally came, although not enough to be a big deal. I called the school this morning at about 5:30 and they said they would update by 6 on the status of the classes. I called at about 6:10 and they said everything was normal, so I left early to be sure that I would make it on time to my 7:45 class. When I got here (to school), I found out that classes were cancelled until 10:30 this morning. After I had stayed up until close to 2:30 working on a paper due in my 9:15-10:30 English class...

Oh, well...I've studied music, English, and chemistry in that extra time...with sugar to keep me from feeling completely brain dead after my late night. I think I could use more sleep, though...

Seems to be a recurring theme of most of my teachers. I won't say all because I don't think my chemistry teacher is quite as strong on it as my other instructors are...but then my chemistry teacher is significantly older than my other instructors (who are twenties to forties or fifties, while he is probably in his late seventies). My English class is focused on literature that emphasizes the importance of self-expression...my communication class basically emphasizes self-expression. My music class is more about analyzing the expressions of others. And my history class is about how women and poor people were prevented from being all they could have been. Of course, that is kind of the theme of the readings for English, too.

Now, I am all for expressing my opinion...exercising my "Constitutionally-guaranteed freedom of speech" (as my communication book says)...BUT...why this focus? Why is it "me"? Why is everything so self-centered? I almost get the impression that self-expression/making one's voice heard is of greater inherent value than having/forming a correct (but unspoken) opinion about something. People are more preoccupied with thinking freely than thinking truly...and, in ignoring the truly, they miss the freely. Still, all this has started me thinking...

What is the best road to "self-actualization"? In Sunday school this past Sunday, we talked about a specific person (an actress of whom I hadn't ever heard) who is obviously not happy and obviously rudderless. Apparently, she has done quite a bit towards "expressing herself," to getting down to who she really is...or at least making an effort to do so...but it keeps changing. That made me start thinking about my how my history teacher refers to religion as one method that people have used to control others...obviously factual, but interesting to consider in application to Christianity. There are other faiths for which people are willing to live and die, but Christianity is not just a hopeful kind of hope, but a "blessed assurance" kind of hope of which we can be certain...it provides a peace that passes all understanding RIGHT NOW. Or maybe I should say that the Prince of Peace gives us peace that passes all understanding. But in a logical, philosophical sense, if you were to assume that all things were physical, natural...nothing spiritual (although this entire concession would be somewhat of a contradiction), it would seem that people still have some kind of response to the religious...something that gives them motivation to live, and to live in a way that gives them satisfaction...at least to some extent (I do not know how it is for the unsaved). So even if people choose not to recognize that there really is a basis for Christianity, they cannot deny that it does give people some guidance...something that allows for true "self-actualization" (in the paradox of losing one's life to save it, which I'm sure would sound illogical to most people...if not all people, from a finite perspective). Something's there...something's to it. I'm almost scared to read biographies of the "best" poets...those horribly depressed people, many of whom have committed suicide. Is their poetry "self-actualization"?

I'm not expressing my thoughts very well here, but I guess what I'm wanting to say is that the self-centered approach doesn't work...that there's a way that does work...that people will try to ignore the way that does work...that it's all very sad. People shouldn't have to spend their whole lives analyzing themselves...knowledge of the truth would be all they would need (God's Word provides the best basis for finding out our true selves!).

Okay, I'd better stop...this is what I do when I'm tired. I have been thinking about this stuff as I've wrapped coke baskets in cellophane...as I've driven back and forth between activities...as I've done anything that doesn't require much use of my mind. Obviously, something's wrong...and I know Someone who has the answer...but people don't want to hear it. Instead of wanting to hear hope, they want to know how to describe and analyze hopelessness. Instead of wanting to be clean, they want to explore the mud in the pig sty. It reminds me of a man in Pilgrim's Progress who spent his whole life looking in the straw for treasure while someone held a crown that he would have seen if he had only looked up. I am praying that the Lord will show me how to demonstrate His love so that people WILL look up!

Can you suggest a good web site for me to find out the instrument groups and individual instruments in standard music groups (concert band, string quartet, etc.)? I am supposed to attend eight concerts for Music Appreciation, at least one for Western Civ., a play for English Composition II, and who knows what else. At least two of my teachers are absolutely bent on my gaining something from the class...which is a good situation...actually, make that three. Let me think about that...and just make it all four of the ones I saw today. They are all going to have extra work on their hands to ensure that we are progressing. I think this semester will be more time consuming than my last semester, but I think I will also learn a whole lot more...and probably feel like I deserve whatever grades I get.

I saw lots of people that I met last semester, but not too many friends, and only one person from church (I didn't even see my brother and his girlfriend).

Well, I have procrastinated too long about homework, so I should go...I need to be energetic when I rise tomorrow and go to work to continue the inventory process, which I hope is mostly done!