PamelaVV

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The fleas are really annoying! Rabbits are in the bedroom next to mine, and even though the hallway is uncarpeted, I've got fleas bothering me constantly. I've slapped myself about ten times this evening in the vain attempt to get fleas on me like you'd slap mosquitoes. Well, I've actually killed one this evening, I think...and I killed one last night. I doubt I'm making much of a difference considering how many there probably are burrowed into the carpet. And to think...I sleep on that carpet. Just thinking about it makes me itch.

I'm really supposed to be working on finite math homework that's due tomorrow morning. I'm losing momentum now that tomorrow is one week from the last day of school. I do really want to be done. I'm starting to get to know people in my classes a tiny bit...but I'm still ready for it to be over. I'm tired of the most boring math in the world, certainly...and I'm also tired of not having quite enough time to do the reading that I want to do (whatever that is). Two weeks after school is over, my mom and I will be leaving for the trip that I've been awaiting all year. Looking forward to that is helping through this last stretch of the school experience.

I'm still behind on e-mail correspondence, but I guess that's life...I need to get a move on with some of the people I'm going to see in HI, though.

I'm still jobless, apparently for the next several weeks. I really don't know what the Lord has in mind, but He convicted me this evening about my lack of faith as He reminded me of all the ways He has already provided so well for me. I think it's hard to go to HI knowing that I don't have money to spend like I thought I would. I don't mean that I was going to buy tons of stuff for myself or anything in the way of keepsakes, but I just wanted to have the ability to PAY for a rental car and to help with grocery bills, etc. I have a hard time understanding why that's not (it seems) going to be possible. I'm going with very little money, so whatever's provided will come from other sources. I guess maybe the Lord wants me to learn to be grateful...it's humbling to depend on others. I guess I've been wanting Him to provide for me in a way that would allow ME to be the one doing the providing...so that instead of really trusting Him, I'd be trusting myself. Hmm. Maybe that is the problem. I don't know. But I trust that He will show me in His time...

And now, since we're supposed to do our work as unto the Lord and do it with all our might (Colossians and Ecclesiastes, I think), I should probably get to work on those math problems (histograms are a pain, I think).

I have a Work-Study interview at the community college's Financial Aid office Wednesday morning at 11:00 CDT. I'm looking forward to finding out whether this is the job the Lord has in mind for me. The pay s $6.50/hour and it would be 15 hours a week...not a whole lot, but enough...and certainly more than I'm getting now.=D

Meanwhile...I am finishing math homework for tomorrow (I took a break because I am frustrated with one of the problems right now) and thinking about reading the first portion of Dante's "Inferno," since the teacher has assigned that for tonight. LOL! I do need to read it, but I don't know how much I'll get read tonight. And my neck and head and back ache...LOL! It's not horrible, just distracting...and probably due to doing homework for so long today. I just can't seem to get my life all straightened out. I think I'll bring my homework out to the living room so I can watch a movie while I'm doing it...maybe I'll be able to concentrate better (yeah, I know that sounds weird...we'll see if it works).

And I have wanted to respond to so many entries, but time gets away from me each day as I strive to fulfill homework assignments. I have thought of wonderful things to say on here, but never have the time. Finals are the first week in May and summer school won't begin till May 24, so maybe I'll have a little extra time in there for posting...if I'm not busy with other things (like cleaning my room in preparation for getting new carpet).

We still have sickness at our house, which is kind of disgusting. I feel so sorry for the little ones because there is nothing I can do to help them.=\

Classes are going relatively well, but my fatigue is increasing. I have a take-home Western Civ. exam due on Monday, so I'm working on that now. I have most of the stuff typed up, but the teacher wants it handwritten, so that will take some time. My handwriting is not super slow, but it's definitely slower than my typing! I'm also trying to fit the information on to as few pages as possible because the essay is really only supposed to be three to five pages, which isn't a whole lot considering that the teacher DOES want me to be thorough. Although I hadn't planned it initially, my essay is going to be about Christianity. I would post it here, but I think there would be too much explaining involved. Then again, a lot of you are college students, so you have an idea how some teachers think...haha. We'll see.

Anyway, I'm still following posts some and trying to keep up. I think about the expectant mothers regularly and look forward to the arrival of all the babies. They are all first-borns, aren't they? Haha...they'd have to be if their moms have time to journal, right?

Well, that's all for now...maybe later I'll have time for more private journaling. I've been looking at my off-line journals from that past few years and it just amazes me to see how much my parents have really influenced my to make God's Word the foundation of my life. At first, I thought that was going to make school really hard, but now I think that I'm more prepared through studying God's Word than I could have been through any other "text." As I read through my journals, I saw outlines and notes and everything that teachers have wanted me to do for my classes. I cracked up when I realized how much I had learned without even realizing what was happening...I thought I was "studying the Bible," but it was so much more...spiritually AND academically. Of course, the plus side to college is being able to apply what I learn there to my study of God's Word.

Hmm. I really should go and finish that test. I think the rest of my homework for Monday is done, though, so I'm pretty happy about that.

I should be gone already, or so my body tells me. I guess I have extra time to do homework...after I finish getting ready to appear in public. I should try to eat something else...I know one slice of toast isn't going to keep me full or energetic for very long.

I am having a little difficulty forcing myself to study. I know I need to do it, but I'm usually so tired that I just wait, hoping that I'll have more energy "later" (whenever that is). I guess, though, that I just have to do it--that's the only way. And if I start now, then maybe I'll be able to do it for another several years. I really could use more deadlines at school. LOL!