PamelaVV

I didn't go into reading John Piper's Desiring God with a list of things that I figured would be convicting, but it did end up surprising me that the area of greatest conviction to me lately has been what he said about the use of money! I'm currently reorienting myself to a perspective that will, appropriately, view the needs of the many lost and dying in the world as being a higher priority than any desire I might have for expanding my "professional wardrobe." LOL! In some ways, this has been more relieving than convicting, though...like I have permission now to think from a more eternal perspective. I don't have to worry so much about fashion because that doesn't have the same eternal impact. I've been unfashionable all my life and I will probably remain so. (Don't blame that on John Piper! LOL!)

Anyway, I just thought I'd mention that as I go on to prepare for today. It's 6:15 A.M. here and I would like to leave soon...or at least get a good, long list of things done before I leave.=)

( Read more... )

The fleas are really annoying! Rabbits are in the bedroom next to mine, and even though the hallway is uncarpeted, I've got fleas bothering me constantly. I've slapped myself about ten times this evening in the vain attempt to get fleas on me like you'd slap mosquitoes. Well, I've actually killed one this evening, I think...and I killed one last night. I doubt I'm making much of a difference considering how many there probably are burrowed into the carpet. And to think...I sleep on that carpet. Just thinking about it makes me itch.

I'm really supposed to be working on finite math homework that's due tomorrow morning. I'm losing momentum now that tomorrow is one week from the last day of school. I do really want to be done. I'm starting to get to know people in my classes a tiny bit...but I'm still ready for it to be over. I'm tired of the most boring math in the world, certainly...and I'm also tired of not having quite enough time to do the reading that I want to do (whatever that is). Two weeks after school is over, my mom and I will be leaving for the trip that I've been awaiting all year. Looking forward to that is helping through this last stretch of the school experience.

I'm still behind on e-mail correspondence, but I guess that's life...I need to get a move on with some of the people I'm going to see in HI, though.

I'm still jobless, apparently for the next several weeks. I really don't know what the Lord has in mind, but He convicted me this evening about my lack of faith as He reminded me of all the ways He has already provided so well for me. I think it's hard to go to HI knowing that I don't have money to spend like I thought I would. I don't mean that I was going to buy tons of stuff for myself or anything in the way of keepsakes, but I just wanted to have the ability to PAY for a rental car and to help with grocery bills, etc. I have a hard time understanding why that's not (it seems) going to be possible. I'm going with very little money, so whatever's provided will come from other sources. I guess maybe the Lord wants me to learn to be grateful...it's humbling to depend on others. I guess I've been wanting Him to provide for me in a way that would allow ME to be the one doing the providing...so that instead of really trusting Him, I'd be trusting myself. Hmm. Maybe that is the problem. I don't know. But I trust that He will show me in His time...

And now, since we're supposed to do our work as unto the Lord and do it with all our might (Colossians and Ecclesiastes, I think), I should probably get to work on those math problems (histograms are a pain, I think).