I feel grouchy

=D Suddenly, school seems so boring. I think I'm really starting to see where my character flaws are...I guess I thought that school would keep my mind busy, but now that is not true. It lasted several weeks, but after seeing how my instructors test, I don't have to focus on school as intensely (plus, now that I'm actually into the material in each class, it takes a lot less effort to understand it).

I feel the same boredom now that I did before school started. My time is pretty fully occupied, I think. In fact, the guy I've mentioned who's in my English class seemed rather amazed that I'm taking 17 hours and working. The scary thing is that I'm considering asking permission to do 19 hours next semester...just to squeeze in one extra class--it's only 1 hour over the maximum, and I think my grades (if they stay high) should be helpful in getting permission to do that. On the other hand, the classes could end up requiring a lot of homework time...which I may or may not hove. There are so many unknowns. I need to just get up the courage to ask the Life Development Center people about it. Every time I walk past it, though, I get nervous...I'm not quite sure why. I guess it's just that I'm not really sure what to do. I want to ask them when I can register for spring classes. I want to find out if I need to sit down and talk to someone again (I think that is required). I need to ask someone a lot of questions about how I should plan to complete all the requirements in the next few semesters...I won't finish in less than two years (no matter how hard I try, it's just going to take that long). I guess I'm afraid that people won't be able to answer my questions or that they'll put them off as unimportant...or that I won't ask the right questions. It's really stupid of me!=)

Hey, did I tell you all that my dad got me a cell phone? It's basically for emergencies, but now we have about five or six thousand night/weekend minutes on our two cell phones (it's a family plan or something). I don't really know who to call, though. One girl I'd like to talk to is in Hungary, and that is too far away. The other one is in school and I'd hate to bother her when she should probably be studying. And I should really be studying. I'm not really understanding the lab I'm going to do in Biology tomorrow, so I need to work on that. I like to understand things.=)

I've still been replaying the Sunday scenario in my mind, and the further I get from it the more ludicrous it seems...disgusting, too. The incident itself didn't frighten me at the time, but it has made me fear other things that I fear are beyond my control. As I thought about this today at work, the Lord got my attention...instead of worrying, I should be turning it over to Him. He can take care of it...even my paranoia.=) But as I have prayed, I keep asking myself, "Is what I'm doing REALLY what I'm supposed to be doing?" My strongest desire right now has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm doing right now. My life now is too easy.=\