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Instead, I've been sitting here reading more of those old posts from "Skye's World." That's my means of procrastination in preparing for this trip. I guess we have to be out the door in about sixteen hours. LOL! So much for the dress I was going to make. My energy is sapped. I need to fold laundry and then go to Wal*Mart once again...because I again forgot to get some things. I couldn't find a power cord for my camera--I guess I'll eventually order one on-line. It's too bad I couldn't get it before Hawaii, but I did get a charger (that takes at least 12 hours, unfortunately--it was that or pay more than twice as much), six batteries for that, and sixteen regular (Rayovac--plus/maximum...whatever their called) batteries. Since the camera only takes two at a time, I'm hoping that's enough. I'll just have to be careful about how I use the camera. I'll go ahead and take my other camera, too, just to fool around with, I guess. It's kind of ironic that I have a power cord for one and batteries for the other...but batteries won't work for the one with the power cord and I don't have a power cord for the other.

But back to those old posts...it's really interesting to see how people have changed and how they've remained the same. I'm reading through my own posts with great interest, since I had forgotten what I said. I think I pretty much agree with it, though, and I can also see myself--as ever--trying to take a non-controversial stance (read: be the final authority) on each subject.

Which reminds me...I've decided which presidential candidate to vote for in November. LOL! For now I'm not telling, although you can probably guess. =D Part of what helped me reach my conclusion was my SS teacher's comments when I brought up the subject in Sunday school a few weeks (maybe a month) ago. Yes, I brought it up...the whole deal of God's sovereignty, man's responsibility, issues of character/integrity, and everything. And the ultimate conclusion is that--as Scripture says--each man must be fully convinced in his own mind, for whatever is not of faith is sin.
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And I have wanted to respond to so many entries, but time gets away from me each day as I strive to fulfill homework assignments. I have thought of wonderful things to say on here, but never have the time. Finals are the first week in May and summer school won't begin till May 24, so maybe I'll have a little extra time in there for posting...if I'm not busy with other things (like cleaning my room in preparation for getting new carpet).

We still have sickness at our house, which is kind of disgusting. I feel so sorry for the little ones because there is nothing I can do to help them.=\

Classes are going relatively well, but my fatigue is increasing. I have a take-home Western Civ. exam due on Monday, so I'm working on that now. I have most of the stuff typed up, but the teacher wants it handwritten, so that will take some time. My handwriting is not super slow, but it's definitely slower than my typing! I'm also trying to fit the information on to as few pages as possible because the essay is really only supposed to be three to five pages, which isn't a whole lot considering that the teacher DOES want me to be thorough. Although I hadn't planned it initially, my essay is going to be about Christianity. I would post it here, but I think there would be too much explaining involved. Then again, a lot of you are college students, so you have an idea how some teachers think...haha. We'll see.

Anyway, I'm still following posts some and trying to keep up. I think about the expectant mothers regularly and look forward to the arrival of all the babies. They are all first-borns, aren't they? Haha...they'd have to be if their moms have time to journal, right?

Well, that's all for now...maybe later I'll have time for more private journaling. I've been looking at my off-line journals from that past few years and it just amazes me to see how much my parents have really influenced my to make God's Word the foundation of my life. At first, I thought that was going to make school really hard, but now I think that I'm more prepared through studying God's Word than I could have been through any other "text." As I read through my journals, I saw outlines and notes and everything that teachers have wanted me to do for my classes. I cracked up when I realized how much I had learned without even realizing what was happening...I thought I was "studying the Bible," but it was so much more...spiritually AND academically. Of course, the plus side to college is being able to apply what I learn there to my study of God's Word.

Hmm. I really should go and finish that test. I think the rest of my homework for Monday is done, though, so I'm pretty happy about that.
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Seems to be a recurring theme of most of my teachers. I won't say all because I don't think my chemistry teacher is quite as strong on it as my other instructors are...but then my chemistry teacher is significantly older than my other instructors (who are twenties to forties or fifties, while he is probably in his late seventies). My English class is focused on literature that emphasizes the importance of self-expression...my communication class basically emphasizes self-expression. My music class is more about analyzing the expressions of others. And my history class is about how women and poor people were prevented from being all they could have been. Of course, that is kind of the theme of the readings for English, too.

Now, I am all for expressing my opinion...exercising my "Constitutionally-guaranteed freedom of speech" (as my communication book says)...BUT...why this focus? Why is it "me"? Why is everything so self-centered? I almost get the impression that self-expression/making one's voice heard is of greater inherent value than having/forming a correct (but unspoken) opinion about something. People are more preoccupied with thinking freely than thinking truly...and, in ignoring the truly, they miss the freely. Still, all this has started me thinking...

What is the best road to "self-actualization"? In Sunday school this past Sunday, we talked about a specific person (an actress of whom I hadn't ever heard) who is obviously not happy and obviously rudderless. Apparently, she has done quite a bit towards "expressing herself," to getting down to who she really is...or at least making an effort to do so...but it keeps changing. That made me start thinking about my how my history teacher refers to religion as one method that people have used to control others...obviously factual, but interesting to consider in application to Christianity. There are other faiths for which people are willing to live and die, but Christianity is not just a hopeful kind of hope, but a "blessed assurance" kind of hope of which we can be certain...it provides a peace that passes all understanding RIGHT NOW. Or maybe I should say that the Prince of Peace gives us peace that passes all understanding. But in a logical, philosophical sense, if you were to assume that all things were physical, natural...nothing spiritual (although this entire concession would be somewhat of a contradiction), it would seem that people still have some kind of response to the religious...something that gives them motivation to live, and to live in a way that gives them satisfaction...at least to some extent (I do not know how it is for the unsaved). So even if people choose not to recognize that there really is a basis for Christianity, they cannot deny that it does give people some guidance...something that allows for true "self-actualization" (in the paradox of losing one's life to save it, which I'm sure would sound illogical to most people...if not all people, from a finite perspective). Something's there...something's to it. I'm almost scared to read biographies of the "best" poets...those horribly depressed people, many of whom have committed suicide. Is their poetry "self-actualization"?

I'm not expressing my thoughts very well here, but I guess what I'm wanting to say is that the self-centered approach doesn't work...that there's a way that does work...that people will try to ignore the way that does work...that it's all very sad. People shouldn't have to spend their whole lives analyzing themselves...knowledge of the truth would be all they would need (God's Word provides the best basis for finding out our true selves!).

Okay, I'd better stop...this is what I do when I'm tired. I have been thinking about this stuff as I've wrapped coke baskets in cellophane...as I've driven back and forth between activities...as I've done anything that doesn't require much use of my mind. Obviously, something's wrong...and I know Someone who has the answer...but people don't want to hear it. Instead of wanting to hear hope, they want to know how to describe and analyze hopelessness. Instead of wanting to be clean, they want to explore the mud in the pig sty. It reminds me of a man in Pilgrim's Progress who spent his whole life looking in the straw for treasure while someone held a crown that he would have seen if he had only looked up. I am praying that the Lord will show me how to demonstrate His love so that people WILL look up!

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songofjoy02

July 2009

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