songofjoy02 (
songofjoy02) wrote2003-10-06 06:30 pm
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Taken from my website
An excerpt from "Romantic Idealism: Part II" (something you may have read if you have been to my not very elaborate web site)...I don’t flirt. Of course, I suppose that statement requires that I go ahead and define flirting. I guess I would agree with Jonathan Lindvall’s definition that is, in essence, “projecting a romantic interest in someone before the time that God desires.” I don’t remember his precise definition, but it was something along those lines.
I actually have several reasons for this commitment. The most obvious that would be true for just about anybody is that flirting does not convey what I as a Christian want to tell the world. Instead of demonstrating purity of heart and mind, it may project even more than what I intend to say through my actions. Naïveté in this area could even lead to undesirable kinds of attention. Rather than take those risks, I’ll “play it safe” by conducting myself in a way that I am sure would be pleasing to my Lord: WITH ALL PURITY. My standard is generally a little even more strict than what it would be as a married woman—simply because it seems likely to me that people would read more into my actions when I’m single than they would if I were married (innocent actions, that is).
There are many passages in Scripture that seem to me to prohibit intentional flirting.
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Our hearts need guarding, and that is because so much depends upon it! Our physical hearts indeed pump the blood through our bodies, something we need for life. We would not intentionally do anything to expose our hearts to danger. Think about the spiritual analogy—our spiritual hearts, and the importance of guarding them to maintain our spiritual vitality. If our hearts go astray in any way, that can lead to so much danger! Even if our hearts are not involved when we begin flirting, the actions could lead to the mindset. And Scripture does tell us that the wicked things we do come forth from a wicked heart. We need to guard our hearts carefully, examining them in the clear, bright light of God’s Word to see the impurities that He desires to remove from them.
I Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
The simple injunction to “flee fornication” is one that I believe many Christians disregard, to their hurt, to their shame, and to the grief of the Lord. When we become Christians, we are giving our entire beings—including our physical bodies—to the Lord. Sometimes we do not realize how many areas of our lives this commitment affects. Romans 12:1-2, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” We are a living sacrifice, and our lives should show it. That is what God wants! That is what is reasonable (or, in another translation, “spiritual”). It makes sense that if we belong to the Lord we should do as He desires. It is also interesting to note that I Corinthians tells us that fornication is one sin that affects more than our bodies. I know that abstinence promoters will talk about venereal disease and pregnancy as being possible consequences of promiscuity, but shouldn’t Christians be most concerned about dishonoring the Lord?
Flirting obviously is not fleeing fornication; it is more of an invitation to sin, at least in the mind and heart. As Joshua Harris has often mentioned, purity is not staying on the side of a line drawn in the sand, but rather a direction in which we are moving. If we do not make the choice for purity in all of our actions, even the “small” ones, are we going to remain pure before the Lord?
I Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; 5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: 6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. 8 He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.
If the passage in I Corinthians is not clear enough, this passage reiterates the necessity of a believer’s abstinence from fornication. This kind of sin is often present in the lives of unbelievers, but should it happen in the life of a Christian? God has indeed called us to holiness, and there are significant consequences, directly from the Lord, for believers who do not honor Him in this. That it would grieve Him should be enough to keep us from it, but be forewarned that disobedience will expose you to God’s vengeance.
I Timothy 4:12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
This verse talks about the need for setting an example. People are watching us, and we need to make sure that what they see is something that God desires them to live, too. The idea of setting an example is set in contrast to letting people despise our youth. Young people are known for being incredibly irresponsible and unwise, and certainly far from honoring to the Lord. We can be different; we must be different. We must make sure that our examples are shining clearly enough that there will be no questions in anyone’s minds as to where our convictions lie. So maybe you are committed to specific things, but can other people tell? If a girl says that she is committed to purity, will flirting make it look like it?
I Timothy 5:1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; 2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.
I cannot tell you how many times I have looked up the word “all” in the New Testament. All does, indeed, mean all. Purity is pretty straightforward. Even when it is necessary to address problems in the life of a young lady, young men must be careful. Paul was talking to Timothy about times when it might be appropriate for him to address spiritual needs in the lives of young ladies. Paul asked Timothy to treat them with all purity, and that is how young men should treat young women. No taking advantage of a young woman emotionally is allowed from this passage.
II Timothy 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Again, we see the concept of fleeing youthful lusts. We have an alternative that most people ignore, though. While we’re busy focusing on the don’ts, Satan is enjoying keeping us from what God DOES want us to do. We are urged to PURSUE righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace WITH other sincere Christians. How do you do this? Do you host Bible studies? Do you watch movies together? Think about it! This verse should affect not only who your friends are, but what you do with them. So tell me, when you watch movies with your friends, are you walking in obedience to what is obviously set forth in this passage? Are you with sincere Christians? Are you pursuing what is holy, what is in obedience to God’s commands, what demonstrates love to others, and what brings peace to your life and to the lives of others? I would venture to guess that many youth group activities are not planned with this verse in mind. Don’t think that the youth leaders are the ones who are responsible for this, either! YOU, young people, are the ones who will make the difference. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. Set the standard for other people, and look for others who have a similar passion for the Lord. Pray, study, and fellowship with them around the basic principles of living the Christian life. Are we as likely to fall when we are actually pursuing these things? There is not room for flirting in this. Pursuit of righteousness and pursuit of inappropriate romance are not compatible. When it is God’s will for there to be romance, it will be possible to pursue it righteously!
This is just something I'm looking over as I brainstorm ideas for that rough draft that is due Wednesday. I'm really trying to imagine how that would go over with my peers and with my teacher! LOL! It could be interesting. I wonder if it would be appropriate to use Scripture...probably not. But I could talk about Scriptural principles and refer to them (very much paraphrased) as my own opinions, since they have become that. I really wonder what kind of grade she would give me. I'm thinking that she may be a Christian. And I'm even more certain that the guy I mentioned before (either here or at Mindsay) is a Christian. LOL! My reason for thinking that is almost comical...don't know why.
Oh, I took my history test, and I was not as confident as I would have liked to have been on a few of the questions. But there was a bonus question, and I have a film review to do for extra credit, so hopefully I'm in good shape.=\
I actually have several reasons for this commitment. The most obvious that would be true for just about anybody is that flirting does not convey what I as a Christian want to tell the world. Instead of demonstrating purity of heart and mind, it may project even more than what I intend to say through my actions. Naïveté in this area could even lead to undesirable kinds of attention. Rather than take those risks, I’ll “play it safe” by conducting myself in a way that I am sure would be pleasing to my Lord: WITH ALL PURITY. My standard is generally a little even more strict than what it would be as a married woman—simply because it seems likely to me that people would read more into my actions when I’m single than they would if I were married (innocent actions, that is).
There are many passages in Scripture that seem to me to prohibit intentional flirting.
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Our hearts need guarding, and that is because so much depends upon it! Our physical hearts indeed pump the blood through our bodies, something we need for life. We would not intentionally do anything to expose our hearts to danger. Think about the spiritual analogy—our spiritual hearts, and the importance of guarding them to maintain our spiritual vitality. If our hearts go astray in any way, that can lead to so much danger! Even if our hearts are not involved when we begin flirting, the actions could lead to the mindset. And Scripture does tell us that the wicked things we do come forth from a wicked heart. We need to guard our hearts carefully, examining them in the clear, bright light of God’s Word to see the impurities that He desires to remove from them.
I Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
The simple injunction to “flee fornication” is one that I believe many Christians disregard, to their hurt, to their shame, and to the grief of the Lord. When we become Christians, we are giving our entire beings—including our physical bodies—to the Lord. Sometimes we do not realize how many areas of our lives this commitment affects. Romans 12:1-2, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” We are a living sacrifice, and our lives should show it. That is what God wants! That is what is reasonable (or, in another translation, “spiritual”). It makes sense that if we belong to the Lord we should do as He desires. It is also interesting to note that I Corinthians tells us that fornication is one sin that affects more than our bodies. I know that abstinence promoters will talk about venereal disease and pregnancy as being possible consequences of promiscuity, but shouldn’t Christians be most concerned about dishonoring the Lord?
Flirting obviously is not fleeing fornication; it is more of an invitation to sin, at least in the mind and heart. As Joshua Harris has often mentioned, purity is not staying on the side of a line drawn in the sand, but rather a direction in which we are moving. If we do not make the choice for purity in all of our actions, even the “small” ones, are we going to remain pure before the Lord?
I Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; 5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: 6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. 8 He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.
If the passage in I Corinthians is not clear enough, this passage reiterates the necessity of a believer’s abstinence from fornication. This kind of sin is often present in the lives of unbelievers, but should it happen in the life of a Christian? God has indeed called us to holiness, and there are significant consequences, directly from the Lord, for believers who do not honor Him in this. That it would grieve Him should be enough to keep us from it, but be forewarned that disobedience will expose you to God’s vengeance.
I Timothy 4:12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
This verse talks about the need for setting an example. People are watching us, and we need to make sure that what they see is something that God desires them to live, too. The idea of setting an example is set in contrast to letting people despise our youth. Young people are known for being incredibly irresponsible and unwise, and certainly far from honoring to the Lord. We can be different; we must be different. We must make sure that our examples are shining clearly enough that there will be no questions in anyone’s minds as to where our convictions lie. So maybe you are committed to specific things, but can other people tell? If a girl says that she is committed to purity, will flirting make it look like it?
I Timothy 5:1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; 2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.
I cannot tell you how many times I have looked up the word “all” in the New Testament. All does, indeed, mean all. Purity is pretty straightforward. Even when it is necessary to address problems in the life of a young lady, young men must be careful. Paul was talking to Timothy about times when it might be appropriate for him to address spiritual needs in the lives of young ladies. Paul asked Timothy to treat them with all purity, and that is how young men should treat young women. No taking advantage of a young woman emotionally is allowed from this passage.
II Timothy 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Again, we see the concept of fleeing youthful lusts. We have an alternative that most people ignore, though. While we’re busy focusing on the don’ts, Satan is enjoying keeping us from what God DOES want us to do. We are urged to PURSUE righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace WITH other sincere Christians. How do you do this? Do you host Bible studies? Do you watch movies together? Think about it! This verse should affect not only who your friends are, but what you do with them. So tell me, when you watch movies with your friends, are you walking in obedience to what is obviously set forth in this passage? Are you with sincere Christians? Are you pursuing what is holy, what is in obedience to God’s commands, what demonstrates love to others, and what brings peace to your life and to the lives of others? I would venture to guess that many youth group activities are not planned with this verse in mind. Don’t think that the youth leaders are the ones who are responsible for this, either! YOU, young people, are the ones who will make the difference. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. Set the standard for other people, and look for others who have a similar passion for the Lord. Pray, study, and fellowship with them around the basic principles of living the Christian life. Are we as likely to fall when we are actually pursuing these things? There is not room for flirting in this. Pursuit of righteousness and pursuit of inappropriate romance are not compatible. When it is God’s will for there to be romance, it will be possible to pursue it righteously!
This is just something I'm looking over as I brainstorm ideas for that rough draft that is due Wednesday. I'm really trying to imagine how that would go over with my peers and with my teacher! LOL! It could be interesting. I wonder if it would be appropriate to use Scripture...probably not. But I could talk about Scriptural principles and refer to them (very much paraphrased) as my own opinions, since they have become that. I really wonder what kind of grade she would give me. I'm thinking that she may be a Christian. And I'm even more certain that the guy I mentioned before (either here or at Mindsay) is a Christian. LOL! My reason for thinking that is almost comical...don't know why.
Oh, I took my history test, and I was not as confident as I would have liked to have been on a few of the questions. But there was a bonus question, and I have a film review to do for extra credit, so hopefully I'm in good shape.=\