songofjoy02: (Default)
Read more... )

The fleas are really annoying! Rabbits are in the bedroom next to mine, and even though the hallway is uncarpeted, I've got fleas bothering me constantly. I've slapped myself about ten times this evening in the vain attempt to get fleas on me like you'd slap mosquitoes. Well, I've actually killed one this evening, I think...and I killed one last night. I doubt I'm making much of a difference considering how many there probably are burrowed into the carpet. And to think...I sleep on that carpet. Just thinking about it makes me itch.

I'm really supposed to be working on finite math homework that's due tomorrow morning. I'm losing momentum now that tomorrow is one week from the last day of school. I do really want to be done. I'm starting to get to know people in my classes a tiny bit...but I'm still ready for it to be over. I'm tired of the most boring math in the world, certainly...and I'm also tired of not having quite enough time to do the reading that I want to do (whatever that is). Two weeks after school is over, my mom and I will be leaving for the trip that I've been awaiting all year. Looking forward to that is helping through this last stretch of the school experience.

I'm still behind on e-mail correspondence, but I guess that's life...I need to get a move on with some of the people I'm going to see in HI, though.

I'm still jobless, apparently for the next several weeks. I really don't know what the Lord has in mind, but He convicted me this evening about my lack of faith as He reminded me of all the ways He has already provided so well for me. I think it's hard to go to HI knowing that I don't have money to spend like I thought I would. I don't mean that I was going to buy tons of stuff for myself or anything in the way of keepsakes, but I just wanted to have the ability to PAY for a rental car and to help with grocery bills, etc. I have a hard time understanding why that's not (it seems) going to be possible. I'm going with very little money, so whatever's provided will come from other sources. I guess maybe the Lord wants me to learn to be grateful...it's humbling to depend on others. I guess I've been wanting Him to provide for me in a way that would allow ME to be the one doing the providing...so that instead of really trusting Him, I'd be trusting myself. Hmm. Maybe that is the problem. I don't know. But I trust that He will show me in His time...

And now, since we're supposed to do our work as unto the Lord and do it with all our might (Colossians and Ecclesiastes, I think), I should probably get to work on those math problems (histograms are a pain, I think).
songofjoy02: (Default)
For now, at least...out of seven applicants, they could only hire two for a total of thirty hours. I don't know if it was the interview or the knowledge that I will be gone those last two weeks in August, but I sure hope it was the latter! LOL! =) And I'm content to see that God must have something else in mind, no matter what that may be. The lady who interviewed me did forward my name to other work-study supervisors, though...so we'll see what happens. I'm looking forward to finding out!

This morning, I went to school as usual...and then came home and ate pancakes. After staying up really late last night watching a movie (because I was so ahead on my homework), I was really tired, so I ended up sleeping instead of continuing my journal entry on the reading for my afternoon class. I had spent half of the required time (but covered at least twice as much space as the teacher required) when I just couldn't stay awake any longer. I ended up sleeping and not waking until I had to leave. In my half-asleep state, I neglected to change the books in my bag, so I drove to school with my math stuff. LOL! By the time I realized it, I was too late to turn back...so I went into class with notebook paper and pens. I'm so glad I didn't absolutely HAVE to have my book today. And it was funny because I was just thinking yesterday how impossible it would be for me to forget to bring my book...but then I realized it could end up happening just because I thought it was impossible. Oh, well...nothing's hurt, as far as I know.

Thanks to all of you who provided the game recommendations. I will be looking into them soon. They all sound like great fun. You know, I think I played Boggle with my brothers last night, too...I must've really been on top of things! I need to practice other games, too, and see if we can figure out something for the whole family that would also work with a larger group.

I guess I'll go for now and find something to eat. I need to exercise because I'm getting a little...um...over the weight that I know I should be, and I'm not sure I could cut back on my food intake. Plus, I need the strength that comes from exercise...vitality to go about my tasks energetically and without PAIN! That would be very nice...
songofjoy02: (Default)
I have a Work-Study interview at the community college's Financial Aid office Wednesday morning at 11:00 CDT. I'm looking forward to finding out whether this is the job the Lord has in mind for me. The pay s $6.50/hour and it would be 15 hours a week...not a whole lot, but enough...and certainly more than I'm getting now.=D

Meanwhile...I am finishing math homework for tomorrow (I took a break because I am frustrated with one of the problems right now) and thinking about reading the first portion of Dante's "Inferno," since the teacher has assigned that for tonight. LOL! I do need to read it, but I don't know how much I'll get read tonight. And my neck and head and back ache...LOL! It's not horrible, just distracting...and probably due to doing homework for so long today. I just can't seem to get my life all straightened out. I think I'll bring my homework out to the living room so I can watch a movie while I'm doing it...maybe I'll be able to concentrate better (yeah, I know that sounds weird...we'll see if it works).
songofjoy02: (Default)
Although I shouldn't be. I've got about six to seven hours of reading to do for my literature class this coming week...and at least that amount of math. Plus, I have to do a bunch of writing...but I think I should probably wait on the writing until I'm supposed to do it.=)

So my next class is in an hour and I've got time to kill because the classroom is just about three miles from here and there's no place to sit around over there without someone striking up a conversation--it's just two classrooms, two single-toilet restrooms, a lobby with a receptionist, and a back office for the two employees who stay at the building.

Anyway, that's why I've done these quizzes that are going around. Read more... )

I spent way too long doing math last night...stayed up till two and got up at about seven, and then headed over to the "school" (or its little building here in S'dale). Well, I hadn't completed my homework, and I hurried to try to finish it when I got there. But then the teacher informed us that we didn't have to turn it in until Tuesday, "Sorry I didn't make that clearer." Goodness! The work we had to do yesterday was not at all difficult, but it took a REALLY LONG TIME! Tedious math is really quite annoying.

And on that note...I'm off to get another Krispy Kreme doughnut because I'm hungry.

I'm Done!

Apr. 28th, 2004 10:29 pm
songofjoy02: (with malachi)
Well, with "classes." Now for finals. I just found out that I don't have to take a final in Western Civ., though, so I am a little relieved over that...although I wonder if I should do the exam anyway. It's optional and it won't improve my grade, so I'm not sure what the point would be except to be more forthright with my teacher than I have been thus far.=\ The problem is that I have other exams to study for, so I'm really tempted just to let that one go.

So I'm relieved about one final. I have one in Communication on Friday, one in English on Monday, and finals in Music and Chemistry on Wednesday. I should be writing a performance review that I have to turn in for English Monday--I guess I could try to turn it in Friday. And then I'll have an in-class essay in English for Monday's final. The teacher got us the computer lab, but I doubt I'll be able to use it because I don't have an account. I'll see what happens. Maybe someone will be kind enough to sign on for me. We shall see, I guess.

I doubt I have to worry about my final in Music, so I'm mainly concerned about Chemistry...I REALLY need to study for that. I guess I should go and do that instead of typing here. Or I could go to bed, which I should do before the cough syrup wears off. I'm tired. I did some journaling while I was at school today, but it would take a while to type up, so I'll wait on it for now.=) Goodnight! We'll see if I really go to bed now...
songofjoy02: (Default)
And I have wanted to respond to so many entries, but time gets away from me each day as I strive to fulfill homework assignments. I have thought of wonderful things to say on here, but never have the time. Finals are the first week in May and summer school won't begin till May 24, so maybe I'll have a little extra time in there for posting...if I'm not busy with other things (like cleaning my room in preparation for getting new carpet).

We still have sickness at our house, which is kind of disgusting. I feel so sorry for the little ones because there is nothing I can do to help them.=\

Classes are going relatively well, but my fatigue is increasing. I have a take-home Western Civ. exam due on Monday, so I'm working on that now. I have most of the stuff typed up, but the teacher wants it handwritten, so that will take some time. My handwriting is not super slow, but it's definitely slower than my typing! I'm also trying to fit the information on to as few pages as possible because the essay is really only supposed to be three to five pages, which isn't a whole lot considering that the teacher DOES want me to be thorough. Although I hadn't planned it initially, my essay is going to be about Christianity. I would post it here, but I think there would be too much explaining involved. Then again, a lot of you are college students, so you have an idea how some teachers think...haha. We'll see.

Anyway, I'm still following posts some and trying to keep up. I think about the expectant mothers regularly and look forward to the arrival of all the babies. They are all first-borns, aren't they? Haha...they'd have to be if their moms have time to journal, right?

Well, that's all for now...maybe later I'll have time for more private journaling. I've been looking at my off-line journals from that past few years and it just amazes me to see how much my parents have really influenced my to make God's Word the foundation of my life. At first, I thought that was going to make school really hard, but now I think that I'm more prepared through studying God's Word than I could have been through any other "text." As I read through my journals, I saw outlines and notes and everything that teachers have wanted me to do for my classes. I cracked up when I realized how much I had learned without even realizing what was happening...I thought I was "studying the Bible," but it was so much more...spiritually AND academically. Of course, the plus side to college is being able to apply what I learn there to my study of God's Word.

Hmm. I really should go and finish that test. I think the rest of my homework for Monday is done, though, so I'm pretty happy about that.
songofjoy02: (Default)
With lots of homework, too. But I'm reading Randy Alcorn books for now...I'm so tired of all the hopelessness at school that makes me want to cry...with the constant stream of ideas that I know are contrary to God's Word but that I have had little time to measure accurately against it. I'm tired physically, too, but that's just the way it's going to have to be.

Reading stuff by Randy Alcorn really makes me stop and think. For one thing, he says things very well...especially for a Christian writer. And his ideas make sense. And he's talking about issues that interest me greatly...things I intend to make a big part of my life in the hopefully not-too-distant future. But I guess what has really made me stop and think is the stuff he has said about having an eternal perspective of my life here. In the last few weeks, I have come to realize how little I think that my secular education really "counts" for what God would have me do.

In fact, I've been convicted at just about every turn as I write what I know teachers want me to say...even while realizing that I'm selling myself short by not digging deeper. But who wants the deeper? Who wants me to get it down to the issue of truth? All I have to do is consider matters on a superficial level, the level the teachers give to us in class (if they're good teachers, that is)...and I've got what they want, apparently. Maybe more details would be helpful, but the essence of the "opinion" I've expressed is pretty much what they desire. I feel stupid saying the things I've said, though. And it's not that they're wrong in a sense so much as that they fall short.

An example:

As I evaluated the questions my Western Civ. teacher gave us to prepare for the essay part of our first exam, I began to see a recurring theme in my general answers (based on the material presented, that is)...and do you know what that theme was??? Hopelessness! For every comparison of religion, government, and daily life in ancient civilizations, I saw the same thing...the same characteristics, the similar motivations and their outworkings. And that is exactly what I wrote in my essay; I conveyed an idea that the teacher had strongly implied if not explicitly stated. "Good thoughts," by his standards (unless he was being kind, which I'd like to hope)...and he's probably the most thinking teacher out of the several I've had so far. But I didn't say what I really thought, and that's what bothers me...I really think that the issue is not all the characteristics of politics, religion, and daily life (although they matter), but one of whether what each culture believed was true. In my teacher's approach, it's pretty much all false...or greatly stretched, at the very least. Not a very hopeful approach, but perhaps an "objective" one. But at least I could ask the question about truth, right? I didn't, though.

I struggle to discern whether it's enough to write these things down at all or whether I must say them to a teacher. Most of the time, they don't fit the assignment...of course, my idea of fitting an assignment is giving the teachers what they want. And, after all, I'm not really there to share my opinions with the world (though some would say that I'm opinionated). How honest must I be?

I turned in my little analysis of Henrik Ibsen's A Doll's House, but did I ever get down to what I really thought was true of Ibsen's ideas? No, indeed! I was simply analyzing his story. Shouldn't my analysis consider whether what he thought was correct? Yet when there's any potential for disagreement I find it easiest to avoid it so that I don't have to deal with any difficulties.

Randy Alcorn's emphasis on the "Audience of One" made me think, though. Does it really matter what grades my teachers give me? Does it matter what anyone thinks of me? This life isn't going to last forever. I know that it does matter that people see Christ's love through me, but my desire for their acceptance and even agreement is primarily self-centered...I want my arguments to be so strong or so qualified that NOBODY can disagree with them. Maybe that would be great in a court of law, but here in life...things are true or not true regardless of my ability to approve them, regardless of whether I've analyzed them fully. What am I worth if I'm unwilling to say what I believe...which I wouldn't believe if I didn't believe it? (After all, a person can only believe what is convincing to him.) If I can't stand up for what I believe, I'm really not sure that I belong in school. Sure, I face the issue of casting pearls before swine, something I greatly desire to avoid, but...I think I probably suffer more from the folly of concerning myself with what others think of me rather than considering their true heart responses. In reality, all that should matter to me is that I be a vessel used for honor.

Of course, I've had a few doubts lately about how honorable a vessel I really am. Maybe it's just the way the real world is, but I find people not assuming me to be as naive as I assumed they would assume me to be.;-) Sorry about the assumes, but I assume you'll get it. Seriously, I expected my conservative dress to make them think I'm some kind of goody-two-shoes Sunday school girl, but that's not quite the reception I have gotten. I'm not sure whether it's because I don't emanate naivete quite as much as I had anticipated or whether people just aren't familiar with "my kind." I told some people in my class today that I was home schooled and one of them seemed quite surprised (I don't know if they others were or not). To me, it seems pretty straightforward and obvious...shouldn't everyone be able to tell? Apparently not. I also expect them to think me inferior for it. (What IS up with that in my thinking, anyway?) I expect them, at least, to consider me ignorant...on just about everything. But even my English teacher seemed a little surprised when I told her that I hadn't heard even the most common terms for specific literary devices until I took Comp. I last semester. At the very least, I'm not projecting the image of myself that I have...not at all in the same negatives and positives. And I'm really not sure whether that's good or bad. But we shall see.

Anyway, I'm thinking about doing some serious journaling this week if I can force myself to do it. I know it will help to get out pent-up thoughts and emotions, but I'm not sure if I have the energy. I have lots of things I want to ask you all. I can't remember what it is at the moment, though...so I'll have to come back some other time in the not-too-distant future.=) Have a great spring break!
songofjoy02: (Default)
But just barely in this case! I was right on the edge of a B at 90 (my very lenient school gives A's for 90-100%)...in my much-obsessed-over-Western Civ. class. According to my instructor, "Study groups, not the last minute kind, work." =) I think I can do better on the test next time and I KNOW that my study partners can, so I'm looking forward to "conquering" the next exam. I really do need to write and memorize four (or at least three) essays in preparation for the exam...and I need to study the text more closely. That is the closest I have ever come to a B and it is too close for comfort at this point.

In other news...there is no other news. I've been spending too much time on studying.;-) Actually, the truth is that my "social life" (which people probably don't consider a social life) has picked up along with schoolwork to such an extent that I've had barely any time on-line and practically no time for journal entries. I have so much I would love to say, so many interesting experiences with people, but because I share it with others I am no longer overwhelmed with the desire to "tell someone" about it.

So forget all that and get to the heart of things here. I am going through serious baby withdrawal, but I have neither the time nor the energy to wish seriously for another baby in this house. My desire to get married has increased somewhat, too, as I hear a constant "attack" on God's design for marriage...not just in people who are promoting a redefinition of marriage, but also in people who promote individualism. I have a sense of not belonging.=\ And a desire to go to Bible school...but without leaving home and without doing distance learning (which is why, of course, I say GO). But I want to have a high-quality education. So many desires that seem to be rather conflicting, but all in God's time. It's not that I think Bible college can't provide a quality education, but that I really want to make sure that I get a WELL-rounded education. I want people to make me think BEYOND what is required/desired at secular universities.

So, anyway...I need to get on with other things.

LOL!

Mar. 2nd, 2004 03:28 pm
songofjoy02: (Default)
Songofjoy02 and School_work
  • Might conceive a pair of adult kids.
  • Are prone to hold hands on Saturdays.
  • Disappoint their fanbases by always staying together.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy


The irony is that those are both my journals...me with my school work. Hold hands Saturdays, always together? That definitely describes me with my schoolwork. And as for adult kids...well, that's not so funny when I realize how much time I've been spending with people who fit that descriptionl.

Good laugh when I feel like crying...and almost know that I'll really feel like crying after I get my test back...my test that I take tomorrow. I'm torn...on the one hand, I feel like I'm not doing enough because I am not pursuing this far enough; on the other hand, I'm not doing other things that I probably should be doing...because this is in the way. Tomorrow evening will be freedom...at least from that exam. =\
songofjoy02: (Default)
But that hasn't increased my time on LJ by very much. I did not end up working Wednesday evening or yesterday during the day. Wednesday night, I finished watching an old version of "Jane Eyre" and I slept all day on Thursday...after rising at about seven. Haha. I went back to bed between ten and eleven and did not get up until five. I was able to make myself stay up until a little after two this morning, but it was hard...my body seems to fade right about midnight. Anyway...I have no class until 12:15, so I'm moving at a rather leisurely pace.

I do have plans for the rest of the month, though. Concerts galore to try to get my credits...the only one I'm lacking so far (for this month and to complete all my requirements) is a vocal recital. I wish I could find a good vocalist. I'll have to start checking on that.

2/13
Choral concert...my grandmother's in the group
2/15
Faculty recital at school
2/19
Piano recital of a Steinway artist
2/22
Symphony at the university
2/24
Trumpet recital by a trumpet instructor at the university

We'll see what March holds as far as concerts...I can extra credit for extra concerts, so that should be fun. I'm guessing that I don't need to stress out over that class since it's so simple to get extra credit.

My Western Civilization (I) class is just a little more challenging because the instructor actually intends for us to know the stuff that he teaches and what's in the book. I need 90% of 320 points to get an A in that class and I'm starting out with 7 bonus points. Twenty points are for attendance (which I will get because I do go to every class...I believe that his policy is to award those points to the people who miss three or fewer classes...giving NONE of those points to students who miss more than that).

The tests consist of multiple choice, short answer, and essay questions. First, he has 16 multiple choice questions worth 2 points each. These will be based on all of the readings that we have done, so I guess I should pay more attention to the details than I normally do. The second part of the test is IDs, which he has given us along with the readings--other teachers call them terms. At any rate, he will put a list of 8 (out of at least 24 that he has given us) on the test for us to pick 3 to give the when (1 pt. each), what (3 pts. each), and why (3 pts. each). We must be precise and thorough on each of those areas if we desire to get the full points. Between the 16th multiple choice question and the extra point for the IDs (21 instead of 20), he says we have 3 bonus points built into the test. We'll see!

The other 50 points on the test are for the essay question. We have been given four to study and compose rough drafts for...four 2-4 page essays (I'm not sure how we're going to confine ourselves to 4 pages, but I guess we won't have long enough to make it much longer). He wants us to be thorough and to write the essays well and to think for ourselves. So, anyway, he will have 2 of the 4 questions on each of our exams and we will answer only 1. He grades on all of the above-mentioned aspects of the essays.

I'm meeting with a study group Monday to discuss initial drafts even though the exam itself is not until March 3rd!

So that's my life right now...I do need to get ready for school so that I can leave early or study more here at home.
songofjoy02: (Default)
I tried typing up an entry...was it Friday night? Can't remember, but I just haven't had time to do anything...and I've been so tired. I have to outline a piece of music and do some reading for tomorrow. I have other homework that I should do but probably won't have time to do even though I should turn one paper in by Wednesday and the other paper MUST be turned in on that day. Between work, school activities, church stuff, and the miscellaneous stuff with friends that ends up coming up, I feel rather busy. I think I'm going to end up missing a lot of baby and bridal showers for church people because they always schedule things like that at inconvenient times...or maybe it's because all times are inconvenient now. I don't wish to get rid of my busyness because I would be bored, but I guess I do wish to be more organized and time efficient. We shall see if I can increase my skills in those areas during this semester. My goal is to do as little studying as possible for the same grades as I got last semester. And that's not because I don't like studying...I just know that I spent too much time doing it last semester.

Fatigue...

Dec. 19th, 2003 01:47 am
songofjoy02: (Default)
Actually, being tired feels good. What doesn't feel good is knowing that I need to be ready to go to work by about 7:30...when it's now close to 2:00. And I actually got home from my later work time by about eleven. I came home and worked on making fudge, which did not turn out...it WILL next time, though. I have decided.

Work is fun...enjoyable. But I really am tired, and I really do need to go to bed. I'm very glad that classes are over for the semester...I don't think I could have managed to help with the extra stuff for Christmas at work if school hadn't gotten out. My last "final" was Wednesday afternoon, and it was just turning in a take-home test for Education Technology; the teacher told me I had an A without the test. I don't guess there would be much point in her grading the test, then...I mean, a 4.0 is a 4.0 all the way from 90% to 100% (at this particular school). I'll find out my other grades on 12/23...that will be nice to see. I'm too tired to write coherently, so I guess I had better go.
songofjoy02: (Default)
I'm back on-line at home! But just a little, I guess. I've been sewing tonight...because I was tired of studying. Work today was a little more intense than usual since we just had our first "pressure order" (how I think of it). We did it, though, and I'm very grateful to the Lord! Still, we'll have to increase our production quite a bit if we're going to do all that we need to do. And I still have to go to school...and study. It's good that I'm in school, though, because I'd just let studying go if I weren't.

Well, I'm tired...so I should go to bed, now that I've been up for almost eighteen hours. I got a one dollar Mexican meal to eat for breakfast...I'll see how it tastes.=) I'm experimenting with preprepared foods...so far, I think they're better than fasting.
songofjoy02: (Default)
I should be gone already, or so my body tells me. I guess I have extra time to do homework...after I finish getting ready to appear in public. I should try to eat something else...I know one slice of toast isn't going to keep me full or energetic for very long.

I am having a little difficulty forcing myself to study. I know I need to do it, but I'm usually so tired that I just wait, hoping that I'll have more energy "later" (whenever that is). I guess, though, that I just have to do it--that's the only way. And if I start now, then maybe I'll be able to do it for another several years. I really could use more deadlines at school. LOL!

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